Source: 11 Sexual Fortune Cookies | Phone Sex: News, Insights, & Secrets NiteFlirt.com
11 Sexual Fortune Cookies
Sometimes you get a little more than you bargained for with your fortune cookie—in terms of the sexual innuendos! Does the cookie mean what you think it means when it says “Things are looking up”? Here are 11 sexual fortune cookies that foretell a very promising future—in the bedroom!
- “Special touches have been planned with you in mind.”
Delicious Chinese food and a “special” little something something for dessert? Yes please!
- “Before you receive, you must give.”
- “Bend the rod while it’s still hot.”
That could get dangerous, fortune cookie!
- “Don’t stop now!”
The fortune cookie is close!
- “Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle.”
Hm. It’s usually the opposite, in our experience…
- “Your smile is a curve that can get a lot of things straight.”
Aw, you’re so sweet—and naughty—fortune cookie!
- “You are talented with your hands.”
Thanks, we get that all the time!
- “You will soon get unexpected kisses in unexpected places.”
- “Be prepared to receive something special with no strings attached.”
Best fortune ever!
- “Your tongue is your ambassador.”
So we’ve been told…
- “Others admire your flexibility.”
Yes. Yes they do.
Looking for something sweet for dessert? We’ve got some tasty treats to make your future a happy one right here!
Check out more sexual fortune cookies here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/lindsayfarber/sexual-fortune-cookies-that-deserve-a-fucking-medal?utm_term=.epNzQbeoNY#.wyjVgZyxNG
Sunday mid-morning fucking cum spray during phone sex for me – xHamster.com
Is THIS what you guys do when you call us? LOL
Side note – he didn’t miss “leg day” (some of you will get this joke)…
You guys have no idea….I LOVE Mexican food!!! Better still, it’s inexpensive!!!
OK, my palate is kinda simple where Mexican food is concerned, but I love beef/chicken tacos (crunchy shell only), chips and salsa, Spanish rice, and LOTS of cilantro. You either love or hate cilantro, and I love it – if you see in the photo, I have a “side” of it!! It went in the salsa (for chips & salsa), went in both tacos (chicken and beef) and into the Spanish rice. I crave the stuff…
Anyway, thanks again to Bobby for a great meal – I could get used to this!!
For those of you who don’t know, I work in high-end retail…sounds dirty, doesn’t it?
I will confess that I’m frequently in the “top 10” as a salesperson in my store, for which I am very thankful.
Because I had a GREAT sales day on Friday, I was entered into a store-wide drawing to win a $75 gift certificate within my store, and I won!!!! YAY, NEW BRAS!!!!
And…a co-worker of mine hooked me up Saturday with an extra $500+ in sales because she just “felt like it”!! WHAH? YAY!!!!
As a further bonus, the customer who bought so much from me Friday came in to visit Saturday with her 90 year old mother, and she gave me a present – a copy of the book she authored, and it was personally signed. She cried when she read her written tribute to me on the title page; we cried together and hugged. Days like that, I’m so happy I’m in the “people” business, because I truly do care if customers are happy, and their happiness means a lot to me personally and professionally. I shared this with my store manager (who teared up reading the tribute), and she and my manager high-fived me for a job well done. I’m humbled. And blessed.
Sincerely, I have this feeling for my Niteflirt callers – I want the utmost pleasure and happiness for you, too 🙂 Tributes are like a monetary “high-fives” or a tip for a job well done. Consider it received with respect and heartfelt gratitude!!!
Southern Mistress Alex
BIG “shout out” to Bobby, who’s tributed me many times already…and as I’m true to my own word, I did spend his money on a vanilla latté with caramel on top!!! I was at Starbucks getting some work done, and thought I’d post a photo…great day off, thanks to Bobby!!